Call it being over optimistic but i still firmly believe that life is full of opportunities.
Reminds me of the these lines from 'the alchemist' - god has scattered omens everywhere, we just have to identify and pick them up.

Omens or opportunities,whatever you choose to call them , there's no denying the fact that till the time we dont gear up and take charge ,we cant achieve happiness.

So, if i am so aware, about how i feel ,about what i need to do then why the spirit of complacency?
I was never like that.
I was free,i was expressive and i had the zest to gallop towards hard tasks and win over'em.
I still remember when i won the best actors award for two consecutive years during my school days.
What a KICK !!!!
WHOA, i could act too .... and that too very well..
but NO, had absolutely no thoughts of taking it professionally .
It was during that time, after my board exams that i got a chance to leave home and fly high in the sky of freedom.

It was 'Amchi Mumbai' that gave me wings , helped me evolve....into a stronger and smarter 'new me'.
That's when i realised how important it was to dream...dream big.

Life kept gaining pace and months went by.
I was studying hotel management now, and had no clue what i really wanned to be, a chef, manager,housekeeper .......blah
Oh btw , i was still religiously sketching in my books.
Only that the sketches had evolved now, they were clearer,more expressive and ofcourse beautiful!!!
Sometimes i think, had i preserved all my designs i could have come up with my own design encyclopedia..but as of now i am pretty content with a blog ( ha)

Coming back,
As years and months went by,i kept sweeping away from my dream,my passion.
So,was i not interested in designing anymore?
Ofcourse i was, just that college took over and i was submerged in the course curriculum...

Time was ticking and i had No idea of how complacent i was becoming towards my passion my dream....
I was getting too caught up in the mundane circle o life.
Was my passion dieing a slow death cos i wanted to pick up a professional degree which could earn me a decent living.?
The answer is 'NO'..
I never planned, started doing that off lately though.
For me,being in mumbai and living away from my parents was liberating !!

You know how an average teenager USED to be in those early days.
Followed the inflexible circle of school home tution classes home.
I wasnt aware....
Honestly i wasn't.....life kept taking different turns and i kept riding the wave of change....

Didnt realise that it would take me so far and land me into a situation where now the urge to take charge is the strongest but the ability to take a risk,too weak.
Today i stand amidst a mist of uncertainty and risks........

Appreciation from my friends and well wishers keeps flowing in .
I am constantly made aware about the talent that i have and how its being wasted in a call centre.

YES, i work in a call centre.Have been for the last 5 years. Facing the everyday tussle between my heart which wants to 'sketch' and mind which wants to earn money.
Each day i practically prepare myself to face another day at work ,knowing that my heart wants to be somewhere else.

Now the question that arise is ,Dont i feel frustrated? For how long will i keep succumbing to the eternal need of making money.
Just incase you are wondering,why has'nt he tried taking things in control?
Why hasn't he done anything about it?

Well!! i have.
Inumerous colleges, running from pillar to post to arrange the financial support for my studies .
ALL in vain.

Have i given up?
Have i lost faith in myself and my abilities?

It all started when i was what, like 14 may be.

when my classmates were diligently emersed in the sea of gravity and logistics ,I was galloping in the world of what i would come to know as FASHION.



I was naive, i was creative and had no freakin clue about what i was sketching on the last few pages of my course book, which will soon become a passion, passion that one day WILL become a reality.

Was i secretly nurturing a desire ?

I was in love , in love with my sketches.To see my creativity take life.

But and thats a big BUT, that was still a secret.

I knew i was gifted but didnt know how to chase the gift.

Was i aware about what to do next?



I was always a very volatile decision maker.Followed the herd .

Didn't realise that i could actually take this as a profession.Didn't realise that i could study design and polish my skill.



Realisation happened when it was too late.

It leaves me with a funny feeling knowing the fact that at 24 ,i am still far far away from making my passion a reality.



Do i feel empty?

Do i feel incompetent?

why am i not even chasing it?



Questions are unanswered, hell!!! i have never asked these questions to anyone too...

'Make your hobby your profession' and you will sour high in the realms of happiness and success!!

Have i told this to anyone ?

Answer is a BIG 'yes' , to many this has become a source of inspiration!!!

To follow your heart, to pen your creative energy, to give it life and live the feeling of contentment you derive from it



BTW i am still chasin that dream, not a designer yet but my heart hasnt let the fire die.



Call me an amateur but i still believe in my ideology of 'sketch till you die'........

Time went by....and i kept filling my books with my amateur designs...